Integrative Psychotherapist & Couples Therapist in Birmingham
Helping you understand the patterns that are keeping you stuck — and create meaningful, lasting change
I offer integrative psychotherapy and counselling for adults and couples experiencing relationship difficulties, childhood trauma, emotional neglect, people-pleasing, anxiety, low self-worth and repeating relationship patterns.
- Individual and couples therapy
- A warm, compassioante approach
- In person or online
A Safe Space to Understand Yourself, Heal and Move Forward
Sometimes we know that something needs to change, but we don’t know where to begin.
You may find yourself repeating the same relationship patterns, struggling to communicate with your partner, constantly putting other people’s needs before your own, or carrying experiences from childhood that continue to affect how you feel about yourself today.
Perhaps you’ve become disconnected from who you are.
You might understand your difficulties intellectually but still find yourself reacting in ways you can’t seem to change.
Therapy can give you the space to slow things down and begin to understand what is happening beneath the surface.
How I Can Help
Explore the concerns that may have brought you to therapy.
Relationships & Couples Therapy
Relationships can become painful when communication breaks down, trust has been damaged or two people no longer feel emotionally connected.
You may love each other but find yourselves having the same arguments repeatedly. One person may pursue connection while the other withdraws. Resentment may have built over time, or events within the relationship may have left one or both partners questioning whether things can improve.
Couples therapy provides a space to step outside the cycle of conflict and begin understanding what is happening between you.
I work with couples experiencing issues including:
Communication difficulties, recurring arguments, emotional disconnection, loss of trust, betrayal, resentment, attachment difficulties, intimacy concerns, boundaries and repeating relationship patterns.
The purpose of couples therapy isn’t to decide who is right or wrong. It is to help both partners understand the relationship dynamic, communicate more effectively and consider what needs to change.
Childhood Trauma & Emotional Neglect
Our childhood experiences can influence us long after childhood has ended.
You may have grown up in a home where your practical needs were met but your emotional needs were overlooked. Perhaps you learned to be independent too early, keep the peace, care for other people or hide your own feelings.
As an adult, this can sometimes appear as anxiety, people-pleasing, difficulty trusting others, fear of rejection, low self-worth or repeatedly becoming involved in relationships where your own needs disappear.
Therapy can help you understand these patterns without blaming yourself or remaining trapped in the past.
Together, we can explore how earlier experiences may be influencing your present relationships, emotional responses and sense of self — and begin developing healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
People-Pleasing, Boundaries & Self-Worth
Do you find it easier to take care of everyone else than to take care of yourself?
Perhaps saying no makes you feel guilty. You may worry about disappointing people, avoid conflict or feel responsible for how other people feel.
Over time, people-pleasing can lead to exhaustion, resentment and losing touch with your own needs.
Therapy can help you explore where these patterns began and why they may once have been necessary.
We can work towards developing stronger boundaries, greater self-worth and relationships where you don’t have to abandon yourself in order to feel accepted or loved.
Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma isn’t defined only by what happened to us. It can also involve what we experienced emotionally and how our mind and body learned to survive those experiences.
Some people recognise a particular traumatic event. Others simply know that certain situations, relationships or emotions trigger reactions that feel much bigger than the present moment.
My work is trauma-informed, which means therapy is approached with sensitivity to safety, trust, choice and your individual experiences.
We work at a pace appropriate for you, helping you understand your emotional responses rather than judging them.
Repeating Relationship Patterns
Why do I keep ending up in the same kind of relationship?
This is something many people ask themselves.
We can consciously want healthy relationships while unconsciously repeating patterns that feel familiar.
Our earliest relationships can influence what we later understand as love, closeness, safety and connection. This can affect who we are drawn towards, what we tolerate and how we respond when we fear rejection or abandonment.
You may notice yourself:
- Choosing emotionally unavailable partners.
- Giving much more than you receive.
- Becoming anxious when someone pulls away.
- Finding it difficult to trust.
- Avoiding emotional vulnerability.
- Trying to rescue or change partners.
- Staying in relationships long after your needs have stopped being met.
- Losing yourself within relationships.
These patterns don’t have to define your future.
Therapy can help you understand where they originated, recognise them earlier and begin making different choices.
My Approach to Therapy
I am an Integrative Psychotherapist, which means I don't believe one therapeutic approach is suitable for everyone.
Psychodynamic Therapy
Exploring how earlier experiences and relationships may influence present-day emotions, behaviours and relationship patterns.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Helping you recognise unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour and develop alternative ways of responding.
Humanistic Therapy
Providing a compassionate and non-judgemental therapeutic relationship where you can explore your experiences openly.
Trauma-Informed Practice
Understanding emotional and behavioural responses through the context of what you have experienced rather than simply focusing on symptoms.
Attachment-Informed Therapy
Exploring how our earliest experiences of connection and emotional safety may influence adult relationships.
Humanistic Therapy
Providing a compassionate and non-judgemental therapeutic relationship where you can explore your experiences openly.
Individual Therapy
You don’t have to wait until life reaches crisis point before coming to therapy.
People seek therapy for many different reasons.
You may be experiencing anxiety, stress, grief, low mood, relationship difficulties, childhood trauma or a major life transition.
Or perhaps everything looks fine from the outside, but internally you know that something isn’t right.
Individual therapy provides confidential space where the focus can be entirely on you.
It can help you understand yourself more deeply, recognise patterns that may be holding you back and begin developing healthier ways of responding to life’s difficulties.
Couples Therapy & Marriage Counselling in Birmingham
Couples don’t usually arrive in therapy because they don’t care about each other.
Often they arrive because they have become caught in patterns they no longer know how to change.
You may be experiencing constant arguments, silence, emotional distance, mistrust or uncertainty about the future of your relationship.
Sometimes there has been a betrayal or significant event. In other relationships, disconnection has developed gradually over many years.
Couples therapy can help you slow these patterns down and understand what each partner is experiencing beneath the conflict.
My role isn’t to take sides.
I provide a space where both partners can be heard while we explore communication, attachment, emotional needs, boundaries and the patterns maintaining the difficulties.
Couples therapy is available face-to-face in Birmingham Fiveways and online.
Online Therapy Across the UK
You don’t need to live in Birmingham to work with me.
I offer online psychotherapy and counselling to clients across the UK, allowing you to access therapy privately from your own home.
Online therapy can be particularly helpful for people with busy schedules, those who live outside Birmingham or clients who simply feel more comfortable accessing therapy remotely.
Both individual and couples sessions are available online.
Why Choose Therapy by Neeraj?
Choosing a therapist is an incredibly personal decision.
Qualifications and therapeutic approaches matter, but so does feeling that the person sitting opposite you genuinely understands what you are trying to communicate.
My approach is compassionate, relational and collaborative.
I aim to create a therapeutic relationship where you can speak openly without feeling judged and where we can be curious about the patterns affecting your life.
Therapy isn’t about telling you what to do.
It is about helping you understand yourself more deeply so that the decisions and changes you make genuinely belong to you.
My professional qualifications, accreditation, experience and current credentials can be viewed here:
In Their Own Words
Bernadette20 (04 Oct 2022) – A wholehearted recommendation
I started seeing Neeraj therapy as a child; I was worried initially about trying therapy again. It got to a point where I felt stuck and nothing else seemed to be working, so I looked around and found Neeraj!
I started seeing her for a variety of complicated reasons, including bereavement, OCD, and dealing with the aftermath of an abusive childhood. I have learned so much about myself, my emotions, and coping so much better. Neeraj is wonderful, so kind, and so supportive. It really means so much to me how I look forward to our online sessions that help keep me on a happier, healthier track in life.
Yana21 – Supportive, understanding, and professional therapist
I have been seeing Neeraj since November 2020, and she has helped me more than anyone in my life.
I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and anxiety. She has been extremely supportive and empathetic in her counseling strategy. Never have I seen anyone tailor the counseling session to me and not the other way around. It’s always about me.
Neeraj has always been there for me and reached out to me when I’ve been in the worst place with recurring trauma or nightmares, and I’ve been able to sense my needs.
Neeraj took the time to build trust and a relationship with me before we even touched upon the real issues of trauma and counseling. She has always been so warm, and I’ve learned so much from her about myself. Therapy doesn’t have to be a place where you feel judged or shamed—it’s a place for healing.
I recommend Neeraj to everyone I know! Amazing therapist and person.
Aneal
Hi Neeraj,
Hope you’ve been keeping well. The work we have done has been so powerful and really let me work closely with you as a therapist and also with myself. The guidance you gave me really helped me process and provided me with alternatives and solutions around bettering my mental health. You actively spaced the areas I was struggling with and were able to deal with them in a professional and friendly manner.
In the time since our last session, I’ve carried forward the skills I need in life so I can better structure and love my life. My relationships and the people around me also improved. Thank you so much for your help and support.
Many thanks,
Aneal
Get in touch
If you have recognised that therapy could help you, and would like to discuss your circumstances, needs and goals, then get in touch and we can begin to explore how I can help.